officialunitedstates:

the great thing about the united states is the fact that theres no official language so if you go into any federal building like the dmv and demand to speak with someone in latin they have to oblige or everyone in the building will be sent to jail

metastasisedmalaise:

awwww-cute:

W e recently adopted a couple of kittens. This one, Starbuck, enjoys chewing on books

dear fucking god

(x)

mypenisusedquickattack:

How I look in the mirror

image

How I look in pictures

image

fro5ty:

bookspaintandfireflies:

thetimetravelersguidetothegalaxy:

cunt-punch39:

Til death do us part

This might be the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

Okay, guys, I know I said I was going to bed but can I just point out one little thing here?

Do you notice how it’s blurry at the beginning and suddenly sharpens at the end?

When it’s blurry, it’s because when you’re in love, you supposedly don’t see anything other than the person you love.

And when it sharpens, it’s because the world has come back into focus now that their loved one is gone.

SYMBOLISM.

Yes. 

woah

refreshinglyclassic:

burningoleander:

midnight-emotive:

'if lesbians use dildos why don't they just have sex with a man?'

image

'if straight men like fucking women in the ass why don't they just fuck men?'

Finally, a brilliant response to a dumb question.

thatguythatdoesthingsandstuff:

ollivander:

frequencyratios:

Shoutouts to all the bisexual people whose parents are secretly hoping they’ll settle down in a heterosexual relationship and get married and have biological children.

shoutout to the pan people who have no idea how to even come out to their parents

Shoutout to all the asexual people with parents that think they’re just not ready for sex yet.

breebird33:

angryseawitch:

screamingcrawfish:

a paranormal mockumentary show in the style of the office/parks and rec

revolving around the lives of employees at a hokey haunted mansion tourist trap that turn out to be actually hella haunted but most of its spirits are either benevolent or ineffectively malevolent

10/10 WOULD WATCH

image

Act my age?
What the fuck is that, “act my age”?
What do I care how old I am?
The Ocean is old as fuck.
It will still drown your ass with vigor.

randomawesomnesscorner:

hho-hhe:

When someone unfollows me I take it very personally.

is it porn you want

justdippinsaucethings:

littlefroggies:

verceri:

sniperj0e:

sniperj0e:

ok but what if like. werewolves transform under the full moon but theres just this one and by day hes a big tough guy and then when he transforms hes a tiny dog. just fucking. just fucking turns into the tiniest, fluffiest dog

image

imagine that howling at the moon

image

imagine

image

image

image

Truly a ferocious predator.

image

i’m sorry i’m not sorry

WHAT BREED OF DOG IS THAT I WANT ONE

da-rach